I found lots of resources for people on the receiving end of a “toxic relationship” (usually a blanket “get rid of them”), but very few to help with my own dysfunction. I write this from a place of love and understanding because I have been there; never judgement. This is what I learned / noticed to get some self-awareness, and what helped me. Your mileage may vary.
Do you like words that rhyme? Don’t they help you remember things better, just because they are kind of catchy? I have a couple of pairs of rhyming words today that might be memorable enough to help you be more self-aware in the moment and less “gosh darn it, I did it again”.
The first set is dudgeon dungeon. You know what a dungeon is. Well, dudgeon means pretty much exactly like it sounds like: “a feeling of offense or deep resentment”.