On a dimly-lit sidewalk, a person in a black leather jacket blows sparkling, magical glitter out of their hands and into the air.

If you have looked into the Law of Attraction at all, you understand pretty quickly that every day, in every way, L.O.A. “teachers” are all spouting 50 million variations of one statement:

“Manifesting is the business of getting into the feeling of what you want to have.”

--Gala Darling

But what are you supposed to do when you are so emotionally turned around that you have no idea what to even WANT to feel or want--you only know what you DON'T want to feel because you are tired of feeling it?

It’s pretty darn hard to feel good when you are constantly being made to do what you don’t want to do, and never "allowed" to re-discover who you even are.



There is a Arthurian legend about a man who has to solve the riddle “What does everyone want most in the world?”

And every guess he makes--health, happiness, love, money, no problems, long-life--gets countered with an example of someone who didn’t choose those things.

In the end, he figures out the answer is “Their own way”. Even if it isn’t considered “good” for them, people want what they want. The sociological term for this is “agency”. Agency is “defined as the capacity of individuals to act independently and to make their own free choices...One's agency is one's independent capability or ability to act on one's will.

Agency is the difference between having the rights and autonomy of a citizen, or being a ward of the state.

Many of us, because of a childhood full of trauma, shame, and constant mind games, have had our agency suppressed to the point we effectively forget we have (or deserve) it.

In that case, how can you “raise your vibration” enough to “believe” in, much less TRUST in, yourself enough to reclaim your agency?

Seriously, how are you supposed to believe that you can start attracting all sorts of good things, when everything has been so...bad?

There is a concept called “gestalt”, which is just a word for “what is in the front of your mind” or what is in focus. As you know, your brain can only take in and process so much at once. What you take in and process at any given moment is your gestalt. The rest recedes into the background. The background may be “real”, but in all practicality, it isn’t necessarily “real” (or even existent) at *this particular second* to you.

This is why our focus does indeed become our reality. And thanks to the miracle that is our reticular activating system (a sort of neural inertia), what we just flagged as “important” will continue to be flagged as important and therefore continue to be our gestalt over and over and over again, at every opportunity.

This is why self-described “lucky” people notice money right in front of them, and other people don’t.

“Like attracts like” isn’t just some woo-woo esoteric one-liner. It’s literally how the mind works. And as William Blake said, “the mind that alters, alters ALL”. Why? Because your mind is your only window into so-called reality.

So the thoughts and feelings that you are able to choose, put you on the path of perception that influences what, of all the infinite goings-on surrounding you, comes into YOUR life.



If like really attracts like, and what we focus on becomes reality, and you are in a PAINFULLY bad place (mentally, physically, financially, spiritually) right now...what are you even supposed to do with that? If your brain was really some wish-granting genie...would you really be *here* right now?

I have found it helpful to think of manifesting like echolocation. We send out our desirous cry to the Universe, and it always bounces back, even off of the very things we want the most. What is bouncing back into your ears? Is it the guiding clarity of joy, trust, detached purpose, wellbeing? Or is the murky cacophony of desperation, defeat, longing, and absence?

Can you not see the beauty of the forest (your blessings and opportunities) for the stumps and fallen logs (past disappointments and current obstacles)? Would you rather be the master of your own fate, or keep being a victim? Your thoughts create the story you live.

Being aware of what you are feeling means you have a starting point. Wherever you are at, you can choose a better-feeling thought. And, albeit a split-second, that better-feeling thought becomes your life. Your life is a necklace you string, momentary thought bead by momentary thought bead. It’s a mosaic you lay out, one emotion tessera at a time. Will it be intentional or a mess?


The Fabsolutely Self-Enlightenment Enchiridion can help with that. Which words stand out to you, feel the best, are your Ideal Self’s priorities? When you know those, you can start taking steps (or micro-steps) in alignment with those. Every day. And if not in exactly *every* way, then in *some* little way. Progress is progress, and it is yours to keep.


It’s not about your controlling mother you had to re-parent, your absent father, the friend who screwed you over (and still owes you $20). It’s not about the education system that was a daycare that left you totally unprepared and skill-less for real life. It’s not about a finite world full of inequality and the oppressive governments based completely on corruption, greed, and incompetence.

The buck stops here.

There are people who pull victory from the jaws of defeat, and others who pull defeat from the jaws of victory. There are always people who thrive in dire circumstances, and people who seem to fail, no matter how much they have going for them.

The wonderful thing about Law of Attraction is that YOU have the power to create your reality. It’s playing “Choose Your Own Adventure” for the rest of your life.


Law of Attraction is about you and your relationship with yourself, of which your interactions with the world, and your desires, are a part. Like any healthy relationship, there shouldn’t be an urge to dominate, force, or beat anything into “becoming”. Your desires don’t like (or need) to be manhandled. I can’t think of a time I was ever successful in hamfistedly, brutally trying to manifest.

It was only when I surrendered--let go, eased up a bit--that my desires flowed right in.

As with your physical self care, with your vibrational self care: ease, flow, nurturing, and surrendering is key.

Have you tried those silky micro-bristle toothbrushes? The clean every bit as good, feel like a cloud, and don’t lacerate your gums in the process.

Try manifesting the micro-bristle way, instead of “hard / firm”. Don’t be surprised when what you get is better than anything you ever dreamed, much less thought you could “command” into being.


Many times, the first instinct we have, when we realize we create our reality, is to feel guilty and ashamed. After all, we are to “blame” for all the unwanted things in our lives, are we not?

But the best thing about Law of Attraction is that, since we attract what we exude, feeling bad will only lead to more of the same.

Which means that self-flagellation is not only’re NOT SUPPOSED TO! What a relief! Further, the clarity from the contrast of things unwanted is a beacon pointing you in a better direction. Nothing is wasted on your Golden Path.


Whatever microstep you take or don’t take WILL pay off later. What building blocks do you want to give the Universe to build your future with? You don’t need to fill in all the details; trust that the Universe knows exactly the best way to line everything up at just the right time.

When it all feels too overwhelming--or too pointless--just turn, as best you can, in a more positive general direction. And if you don’t care for that? Try something else. You always get another try; the discovery is half the fun.


If you weren’t meant to use your will, you wouldn’t have any.

Security in your agency may well be the most important thing you can possibly have because your wellbeing springs from it. And every time you celebrate past manifestations of past and present desires, your appreciation reinforces and AMPLIFIES your power because it just calls more in (and trains YOU to notice it more). Lean into that gratitude and it will never fail you.

Security in your agency only begets more. You’ll be expecting it, and when you expect it, your reticular activating system will kick in. We do indeed “see what we want to see”. That’s the secret sauce: Feel what you want to feel and then you will indeed feel what you want to feel.

Easier said than done? Practice. What have you got to lose?

I’ll let you get to it. I just want to “end” here with one of the best quotes I have ever read about manifesting:

“The law of attraction is nothing more than making the decision to optimize your mental health and being aware that your actions correspond with your level of psychological fitness. It’s also about surrendering and trusting that you are not alone in this world.

The universe always has your back. It’s now time to meet it half-way.”

--Natasha Adamo

You take care. I love you. You got this and you are never, ever, ever alone.

I can’t wait to see what you create. I believe in you.

All My Love (Always!),

Ranyoi Rassmarr


Want to work together one-on-one? I'm here.

Image Credit:

Photo by: Almos Bechtold on Unsplash

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