“Whenever I have an unlovely thought or I am experiencing something I do not wish, I reassure myself that there is a Version of me that is thinking a lovelier thought and is experiencing a lovelier experience. Then I simply assume that I am that Version of myself. I have to be because I am Aware and it is ME. There is no other. I do not have to ask anyone’s permission because it is MINE. Then I receive a sense of peace. All that is truly necessary for me to do is to become AWARE of Being that Version.”
I open with this quote because it is this line of thinking that has helped me—when all else failed—in overcoming a lifetime’s worth of fear, feeling trapped, abandonment issues, discontent + resentment, grudges, and so much more.
I can only assume that if you clicked on this blog and are reading it now, that you too have experienced the god-awful catchphrase that has become the mainstay in every exasperating relational disagreement, argument, or encounter: “You are overly sensitive.”
“TOO SEN-SI-TIVE!” “TOO SEN-SI-TIVE!” “TOO SEN-SI-TIVE!” If this phrase has become so maddeningly common in your life that it has basically become the pep rally chant of a “conflict resolution” genre of its very own, read on.
I’m not talking about someone who is clearly using this as a cheap tactic to “win”, gaslight, and dismiss you. That’s a different blog post. I am talking about when even you know you have a problem because the unending hurt & drama, meltdowns, uncontrollable tears, unfillable emotional voids, unreasonable moving relational goal posts, fantasies of self-harm and getting everyone to regret how they made you feel, etc. are just too much, even for YOU. You can’t take your own dysfunction any more but you can’t seem to know how or when it begins, much less how or when to stop. You know what you want (harmony, peace, happiness, security) but you don’t know what you don’t know.
So what do you do if you are “too sensitive”? What if everyone has the guidebook to exploiting your triggers (overtly or inadvertently) and always “getting your goat” because your pathological reactivity is a neon-lit road map right to them?
HOW TO MAKE YOUR GOAT UNGETTABLE AND STOP BEING “TOO SENSITIVE”:
What is a state?
“A state is an attitude of mind, a state of experience with a body of beliefs which you live by. Always expressing a state, you identify yourself with it by saying: ‘I am poor or I am rich. I am known or I am unknown. I am wanted or I am unwanted.’ I could go on indefinitely, because there are infinite states…
When you find yourself in a state or see a seeming other in a state, do not condemn or praise it, for all states exist and no state is greater than another. Every state is an attitude, a state of experience with a body of beliefs…
If you spend the day thinking from a certain base, a certain body of beliefs, the chances are you will fall asleep that night in the same belief. Knowing you can move into another state, another body of beliefs, you may try to move, but you must persist in staying in the new state until it becomes natural.
Don’t condemn yourself for the state into which you have fallen. If you don’t like it move into another. Don’t feel sorry for yourself, for if you do you will make the state a habit and remain there for the rest of your days on earth. Instead, you can believe this doctrine and move out of any state.
How do you get out of a state? Through belief! You must believe in the doctrine. You are told: ‘Whatsoever you desire, believe you have received it and you will.’”
—Neville Goddard, “Infinite States” Lecture
There it is above, the facts that saved my life (and sanity):
Everything is just a state; and a state isn’t predetermined, it is self-determined.
One has a choice. Even feeling like you don’t have a choice, is only a state.
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR STATES:
2.) I have mentioned in previous blog posts of an intuitive method I used to play at, many years ago, long before I read anything like this, where I would ask my Future Self (calling myself the name I use today) to help me through challenging situations—ones I was facing but that (I believed) had lead me to become that wonderful Future Me that already “made it”. So I would consult Future Me and “reverse engineer” my predicaments, since they had obviously worked themselves out in this Future.
And while that was certainly helpful, hopeful, and empowering, and while I had more than a little “good luck” in getting to experience many of my dreams that seemed impossible…
I was always operating in a mode of “success is far off”. And I was still operating from a space of “Future Me has no worries, but Present Me always does.” “Present Me” who was always waiting for a boom to lower, “too sensitive” & emotionally brittle, one sneeze away from destitution, always about to be taken advantage of or rejected…
And, unshockingly, “Present Me”—who I always am and always will be because it is always now, was always skating from one narrowly-averted crisis to another not-at-all averted crisis. Why? Because I was unwittingly choosing my state to be that very thing: I was primed to be upset & sensitive to slights, irrational, more than a little foolish and unstrategic, un-self-aware, and highly motivated by fear and lack.
In other words, my “goat” was *always* available to be “got”. In fact, it was so “gettable” that I was throwing it at people—getting ultra triggered, being ultra sensitive to slights to the point of even inventing offences when there weren’t any. AND THEN of course getting upset with my own bad decisions and moods, victim-y enough to blame everyone else, and ending up self-defeated and completely confused. “Why does this always happen to me?” became the theme song of my life.
All that to say, you have to accept yourself being *in* the state you want to be, right NOW; or at least, practice doing so until you can and it feels natural and done.
3.) Some helpful quotes:
“‘But Orion, how do I know if I did it correctly?’ Easy; When you wake up you will KNOW that you did it correctly. You may even full-heartedly believe that you actually do have it! During the day, if you face anything that negates your imagination or makes you feel bad, just say to yourself: ‘Well that's funny, because it's already done’.”
“Some memory bothering you? Yes, this happens to me everyday. But this is something I learned when this happens. When those thoughts that make me cringe inside: I ask myself, ‘Where is this taking place? Within me. Who is cringing? Me. Who is imagining this? Me.’ Once I reassure myself that it is all within me, from here I can change it. I then ask, ‘Can I change my feeling? Yes. Can I change this to how I want it to go? Yes. Can I let this go entirely if I wish to let it go? Yes. Can I imagine what I wish? Yes.’ Then I do it. I do not wait to do it. Even if it is nagging at me. I learn to not fight but change to what I want. Once I go to precisely what I want, I am always given a surge of feelings of ecstasy. It is automatic. I do not force, no need to. Why would I need to? If I am imagining EXACTLY what I want, my feeling will happen naturally. It must be exactly what I want or else I struggle to feel. Creating my own heaven in my mind is my goal.”
—Edward ArtSupplyHands, “No One Or Nothing To Change But Self”
“Are you stuttering and nervous or can you be heard?”
“The best thing you can do for anyone that you love, is to be happy! And the very worst thing that you can do for anyone you love, is be unhappy, and then ask them to try to change it, when there is nothing that anybody else can do that will make you happy.”
“If you want to be of the greatest value to others, see [yourself] as you know [you] want to be.”
“So I tell you, you watch carefully what you are saying morning, noon and night. When you go to bed at night, just watch your inner conversations, and see that the sun is not descending upon your anger. Resolve it at that very moment, and make it conform to your wish fulfilled, and make that ‘wish fulfilled’ a thing of love. What would it be like if it were true? Just what would it be like? Then carry on a conversation from the premise of the wish fulfilled, all clothed in love, for anyone that you think of; and watch how things happen in your world.
You don’t go out and scream it from the housetops. Let everyone say exactly what he wants to say about you, and pay no attention to it, because they have to do it. When you come down to the end, they have to do it. The separation must take place. And you don’t justify it. Self-justification is the voice of hell. So you don’t justify anything, and you don’t try to always be right. Another almost incurable disease of man is the necessity of always being right. So you don’t make any effort to prove that you are right. You know what you have experienced, and you can’t deny the experience; so you go your way, telling it just as it comes to you.”
—Neville Goddard, “Control Your Inner Conversations” Lecture
“But if you don’t know this, and are not willing to give up your present state, you will remain there, looking at your desire and not from it. You can become what you would like to be in the twinkle of an eye by the simple act of assumption.
And the day you dare to remain faithful to your assumption, it will begin to externalize itself.
Or you can create something ignoble and become so immersed in it you believe in its reality. Anything can be created by a mere assumption. When I dared to assume I was the man I wanted to be, I did not discuss it with others; I simply persisted in my assumption and watched it harden into fact. That persistent act taught me that this world was a dream.
When the politicians promise change, don’t argue; smile as you have through the centuries, knowing they aren’t going to change anything. The world is made up of infinite states which man falls into unwittingly – or deliberately.
Do you like what the mirror reflects back to you and your background tells you? If it is not what you would like to live with, don’t accept it. Rather, look into the mirror of your mind and assume that you are what you would like to be. Declaring that you are now it, don’t look away and forget the image reflected there, but persist in your assumption. Live in that awareness morning, noon and night as though it were true, and no power can stop you from experiencing its truth.
If you look into the mirror and, seeing yourself, you turn away and forget what manner of man you look like, you will continue to perpetuate your unlovely state. But if you look into the mirror of your mind and – seeing what you desire to see, continue thinking from that state, you will see it reflect itself in your world.
Do not be afraid to claim your birthright.”
—Neville Goddard, “I Am The Cause” Lecture
“I am not telling you that one state is right and another wrong. I am simply asking you to judge all states with love. If you are ever in doubt always do the loving thing. Then you will know you are doing the right thing. If someone comes to you and tells you they want a job, don’t ask him how he lost his previous job; simply hear him tell you he now has a wonderful job. Do that and you have taken him out of the state of unemployment and placed him in the state of the gainfully employed.
I urge you to use your own wonderful creative power and deliberately move into the state of your choice. Make it now by occupying the state long enough so that it feels natural. Haven’t you had a suit of clothes that felt so new you were conscious of them every moment? I know when I bought my first suit I walked down Fifth Avenue thinking everyone I passed knew my suit was new.
People passing paid no attention to me, but I was so aware, so conscious of my new suit. That’s exactly that happens when you move into a new state. If the state of affluence is new, you think everyone knows it, but no one knows or cares whether you are rich or poor, so walk in the state until it becomes natural. The moment the feeling is natural, wealth is yours!”
--Neville Goddard, “Infinite States” Lecture
“Never try to change your world with physical force. It simply does not work. You may think you are making progress by putting your physical will upon the world, but you can never out run your Mind. You must reap what you sow.”
Awareness of your state becomes self-awareness. In general, yes, but better yet, that often-coveted in the moment self-awareness that doesn’t end with you in the regret oubliette.
When you get used to habitually choosing your state, the state you spend the most time in will feel natural. And a deviation from that state? It will stand out to you because you are used to feeling a different way; you’ll notice the difference. The contrast will signal your awareness organically.
Practicing being in the state that you enjoy will help you catch yourself in the moment when your subconscious starts to shift your state into a familiar (but detrimental) self-sabotaging pattern.
Try it. You have nothing to lose.
All My Love,